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We’ve now become kind of a go-to couple that other couples come to when trying to navigate these waters.We’re still trying to figure this out ourselves, so we don’t have all the answers.I wasn’t confident that I could handle knowing things—like what he was doing, and with whom, when he left our home. We were also unsure whether we wanted to “play,” or engage in sexual experiences with other people, together or as separate individuals.And we equally had a fear of meeting the other person's play partner.
That’s when I sought counsel from some friends on the West Coast who were involved in such relationships.
We talked about that experience for weeks, and we frequently referred to it for our own excitement in the bedroom.
We can definitely say that our choice to engage in non-monogamous sexual experiences has enhanced our marriage in new and amazing ways. I think what's hardest is when you play with a couple once and decide you aren't really interested in pursuing anything further—but they are.
This is when we realized that communication is absolutely essential in this kind of relationship.
Going into our second year in what I like to call a “flexible marriage,” we sat down and created a document together that lists the rules we abide by, which we each keep on our desktop computers.
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We’re also more open to having spontaneous experiences with other couples.