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I’m getting tired of having to put our plans on hold because he’s got to play the knight in shining armor. That is the sunk cost fallacy and I understand it’s a little dismissive to say just stop feeling that way and make a decision, but you just wrote an incredibly long letter to an advice columnist basically giving a list of reasons why you think this guy doesn’t want to marry you. You can either keep getting rejected by him while you’re with him or you can say, “I’m done here.

Sometimes I feel like I’m being too sensitive about all of this, but the few family and friends that I’ve told about this have all said I’m not wrong for being upset. I have sufficient information to know that even if we got married tomorrow I would not feel like I was marrying someone who was excited about me.” You’ve got to walk away. I think you should go ahead and acknowledge that and say, “I’m done.” I think that that is the only way that you are going to ever possibly be in a relationship that makes you happy, and don’t let the length of your previous relationship convince you to throw more time into it. Ortberg: And she’s going to realize, “Oh right, forward momentum in a relationship isn’t weird and impossible and I don’t have to accommodate someone else’s sudden wild changes in strategy constantly.” It’s not that hard to get married, you know what I mean? There can be a lot, but people dumber and worse than you, letter writer, who get married all the time.

Recently I met a young man and we went out a few times.

Things progressed physically and after a romantic dinner at his house we moved to his bed.

What I have an issue with is that he talks about since we’re going to get married, that we’re a team, but he only gave me a heads-up on them moving in after the fact. The long history between the two of you is not an incentive to stay.

Then he took in another friend who needed a place to stay.

The letter writer said, “I think it’s going to look unsightly and so I asked my daughter if we could have Katie sit down during the ceremony and maybe have her just take video or hand out programs while sitting instead of being your maid of honor so that she doesn’t ‘ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding.’” Ortberg: A tree, yeah. ” I have to apply the usual test to it, which is if you reread your own letter, do you sound like the villain from a Reese Witherspoon movie? Ortberg: Yeah, and so I was at least able to answer that question.

Then it just ends with my daughter is no longer speaking to me. For what it’s worth, listeners, I do believe that it’s wrong and addressed it more fully in the column, but this one was just remarkable.

Our wedding that was supposed to be in October has been canceled and he didn’t seem to even care and overall he seems to have an attitude towards me. He will continue to prioritize everyone else in his life before you. If you want you can stick with this guy for as long as he’s willing to jerk you around.

It’s like he’s got tunnel vision because it’s his friends and forget any plans or promises made with me. I’m sure he would be willing to pretend to want to set a wedding date a couple more times and then invite a bunch of other people to move in with him instead, but getting married to him is not an option.

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